


Whatever Remains

by Salomeia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Episode Tag, Episode: s03e23 Insatiable, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Nogitsune Trauma, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Season/Series 03B, Psychological Trauma, reference to Allydia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:22:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1867788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salomeia/pseuds/Salomeia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia was assaulted by the nogitsune, but she's coping. She's strong. Sometimes it's just a little hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever Remains

**Author's Note:**

> It's clear that the show isn't going to reference in any way that Lydia was assaulted by the nogitsune, so this is about that and everything else she's been through.
> 
> I was trying to tag everything I could think of, but please let me know if I should add tags.
> 
> [Tumblr!](http://salomeia.tumblr.com/)

She wakes up covered in a cold sheen of sweat, disoriented. She had that nightmare again where he pressed his hard cock against her and told her he was insatiable. Her heart hammers even faster when she realizes she's not in her own bed. She screams when someone touches her shoulder. 

"Lydia, calm down," someone says, and it takes a moment for it to register that it's Scott, who's now standing a good two feet away from the bed.

She stares at him, unable to find words. She takes a deep breath and everything slots back into place. The pack had stayed over at the McCall house. They'd had a fun evening. Pizza, movies, board games. Even Derek had played.

"Sorry," she says uncharacteristically. "I had a nightmare."

"I figured. I heard you." He moves closer to bed, then sits gingerly near her knees. She had been sleeping in their guest room alone. Guys were all downstairs and Kira with Scott. She tries not to think about how there's one missing. She needs to pull herself together and thinking about Allison is not going to help with that. Her loss is something that aches within her, more than she ever would've guessed. Like there's a small part of her that's gone forever and she can't heal. She feels a little guilty how Aiden's death seems less important, how she hardly thinks about it, him.

She smoothes down her hair and pulls her knees against her chest. "Was I loud?"

"I'm sure the guys didn't wake up."

"But Kira did?"

His brown eyes can't hide a thing. He shrugs. "Just a little."

She sighs. If she had woken up Kira, then Derek and Ethan must've heard too. "What did I say?"

"Nothing much."

"You're a terrible liar."

"Lydia, it's fine." He looks at her worriedly, like he wants to hug her. She pulls her blanket higher up her chest without thinking about it, she doesn't want anyone touching her. He must sense that, because he sits a little further back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks so, so carefully, like she's a scared kitten.

"Talk about what? You haven't even told me what I said." She hopes she sounds like herself, because she feels like she's shaking. 

He licks his lips as if thinking about what to say. 

"Just tell me," she snaps.

He's quiet for a moment, then, "The only thing I made out, was 'please don't.'" 

She turns her head away and nods. 

"You want to talk about it?" He asks.

"No."

"Lydia, maybe you should talk to someone?"

"And say what?" She retorts. "That some supernatural thing killed my best friend? That some other supernatural thing wearing my friend's face almost ra..." She swallows the rest, but it's too late.

"What?" Scott breathes out, sounding horrified, choked up. 

"Nothing." She wraps her arms around her knees.

"Did he...?" He starts to say, but seems to be unable to end the sentence.

She hugs her knees tighter against her chest. She wants Allison here, to hold her. She misses her so much. She says, brittle, "No, he just..." She coughs, tries to get the words out. "No," she finally spits out.

They sit there in silence, until he asks. "Does Stiles know?"

She shakes her head. "I don't think so."

"You think you should tell him?"

"No."

"Right," Scott says. 

"He's unstable enough as it is, what do you think it'd do to him if I told him he..."

Scott looks at his hands as he speaks. "You can tell me, if you want. I promise I won't tell him or anyone. It might make you feel better, if you talked about it."

Lydia leans against the headboard of the bed, trying to control the emotions that are welling inside of her. "Everyone'll hear."

"I can roar them into submission."

She smiles a little. "A little too much attention, don't you think?"

"Maybe," he says. "Depends on what you want."

"I want to sleep."

"Okay," Scott stands up. "Tomorrow? We could also talk about.. her. I miss her too." He's holding himself awkwardly, his other hand pressed across his stomach as if he's holding something in. 

Impulsively she reaches out and touches his hand with her fingertips. He jolts a little and then gives her a small smile. She smiles wanly back. "Yeah, I'd like that."

He nods. "Okay, good night." He closes the door softly and she curls herself in a tight ball under the covers, trying to force herself to sleep.

She tries to think about happy things. When she had last spent time with her mom, the last time she had had sex with Jackson, when she had gone shopping with Allison. Allison had bought this really cute floral dress, it had looked so good on her. She had been so pretty. Lydia smiles a little at the memory even as she feels moisture gathering in her eyes. She wonders what her dad has done with her things. If they're still there, in her room. 

She drifts off at some point, as suddenly she's jerked awake by a creaking door. She turns around, expecting to see Scott, but it's not him, it's Stiles. 

For a second she's grateful he's not a werewolf and can't hear the way her heart starts hammering. Except it almost feels like he can, because he freezes between one step and the next. Maybe it's something about the way she looks.

They stare at each other, until she gets her voice back. "What do you want?" She asks more harshly than she means to, gathering her blankets around her more firmly.

Stiles looks on and presses his lips together, his fingers moving restlessly. She focuses on them.

"Lydia," he starts hoarsely. "Did something happen?"

She watches his fingers and thinks about playing obtuse, not really having energy for this now. But. That's not really her M.O. She's always faced things head on, she's not going to let anything change that. Then she notices it.

She lifts her eyes to Stiles'. "Are you counting?" She blurts out without preamble.

His Adam's apple moves as he swallows and his fingers still. He looks like a deer caught in a headlights, before he manages a half strangled, "yeah."

"Why?"

He licks his lips, says, "You have extra fingers if you're dreaming."

She hates how his response makes her sweat. "How many fingers do you have now?" She asks almost involuntarily as a shiver of dread goes through her body. 

"Five," he says and only then does it seem like he's really looking at her. His spine stiffens. "God, what?" He starts and nervously tucks his t-shirt, switching his weight from one foot to another. 

"Please, I'm... Lydia, I'm so sorry, I'm... I don't know what..." He stammers, but she's quiet. She feels pressure building inside, in her head. His voice sounds like it's coming from somewhere far away as she presses her hands over her ears and closes her eyes. She doesn't want to hear. She doesn't, doesn't, doesn't. Everything is overlaid with a sound of siren, the sound's so loud that an ambulance must be right under her window. Good thing too, because her heart is going to beat out of her chest.

Then peripherally she hears someone else barging into the room, but she's unable to open her eyes, to concentrate enough to figure out who it is.

Bit by bit she calms down and becomes more aware of her surroundings.

She opens her eyes to see Scott kneeling next to her bed, the room otherwise empty. 

She blinks and takes a deep breath. "This has never happened before."

"Yeah," Scott says. "You mind if I hold your hand?"

Lydia rolls on her back, looks at the ceiling. "No," she finally says.

Scott gives her a small, reassuring smile and leans against her bed, making himself more comfortable, before taking her hand in his. 

They stay like that until dawns breaks.


End file.
